20 funniest tweets from parents this week

Someone cut me off and I gave them the finger and my 7yo asked what it means so I said it means you can go ahead of me so you can guess what happened at school line up yesterday. Janene #1 LOL that is every parent of a little kid right now Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Very frustrated. Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! Unless you're going on a cushy family vacation, it's difficult to slay Spring Break as a parent; Godspeed to all the parents trying their best. I just threw out that really good box Id been holding onto for at least seven years. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on . Just one. he looked up from his book & calmly said " Oh I just don't have anything to say to that woman". My 6-year-old: What's the difference between a barracuda & a shark?Me: When a barracuda is near, you'll hear a guitar riff. Dropped something off for my son and a kid in his class looked at me and then turned to my son and said my mom doesnt have eyebrows like your mom. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHAT? My 4yo asked me what Im getting him for my birthday tomorrow. My tween, who wanted money, told me I dont look a day over 41. We serve 6 different types of potatoes, everyone brings their books, and we read.Genius! Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez @johndavids_635 Kids cough like this but you wanna open up schools???? Wishing you all a good weekend! 4 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. The 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets! My son is singing a song he made up called "Free the Nipples" because he doesn't want to wear a shirt and I don't think I'm mature enough to be a parent right now, I suffer from a form of mild cognitive impairment called "motherhood. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. It was so cute that he thought it was for him. I'm getting popcorn. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. One of the main parts of being a dad or husband is just waiting in the car. 5yo: NO I DOOOOONT *tantrums harder*. The only real parenting hack is to live close to the grandparents. This is exactly why I wanted chips! So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. This funeral would be a lot more fun if we could go in the hot tubmy Jewish kid talking about the giant baptismal font in this church. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Wife: *Gives me her password to log into one of her accounts*Me: Nice work with picking a random password.Wife: Its our anniversary. Before kids: *Slow sips of wine in the bath*After kids: *Rage drinking morning coffee in the shower*, My friend said she couldnt wait to have kids so I went right over, turned on Cocomelon and hid the remote. And a sudden urge to eat crackers and chicken nuggets! Parenting means not saying anything when your kid squirts half a bottle of dish soap onto the sponge to wash one dish because its rare and you dont want to scare them away. Secretly bending the hose your kid is using so the water stops flowing then suggesting that the hose must be broken and encouraging them to look inside as you release the pressure and set Old Faithful off in their face makes you a dad. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! My husband and son are farting on one another. So, whats for gross dinner?Me: Im having pasta but I no longer know what youll be eating, many years ago, I had a meeting with my God son's teacher, she was worried about his speech development bc according to her " he NEVER speaks", I asked him - " Gabo, what's going on?" Part of HuffPost Parenting. Me: its time to goKids: wait. pic.twitter.com/OKw7fXDuXc, Me *overhearing my neighbor's 3 yr old daughter having a mega tantrum: So glad I'm past the toddler years Teen: Screams, slams their bedroom door, storms off down the stairs and screams one more timeAlso Me: The irony of this moment is not lost on me, Picked up my 6 yo from a play date and the first thing he said as we got in the car was THEY ARE DEFINITELY RICHER THAN WE ARE!!. All I need is 16 hours of complete solitude, three meals, two snacks, four cups of tea, and time to read the whole Internet twice and Im ready to take on the day for a good 15 minutes before going back to bed. My son has a shirt that says, "my dad . 8: It's Mom. It's finally March, and you know what that means? Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? It truly is a wonderful life. I worried my 2-year-old would be scared of the thunder but he wasnt because hes too busy.. James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 9, 2023. 5 year old: can you breathe on the moon?me: no, there's no oxygen5 year old: what if you had an oxygen tank?me: then yes5 year old: what if the oxygen tank was empty?me: then no5 year old: what if you refilled it with oxygen?me: is someone paying you to do this? Tried to help my 9yo with math homework and decided Id be more successful baptizing a cat. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Sometimes they can be downright hilarious. So excited for my kids to go back to school and I especially like the part where they bring home a new illness for the next month. ", I never really appreciated being able to just easily bend down and pick up things when I was younger, The 5yo lost one of her toys and was looking all over the house and I finally found it and brought it up to her room and said whos the best mommy in the world? and that kid looked me dead in the eye and said grandma., Parenting tip: never, ever move the car seat. Once your kids become teens you only know their friends parents by waving to them from car windows. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Tory Civil War Deepens As Jake Berry Joins Growing Wind Farm Rebellion Matt Hancock Accused Of Sneaky Ploy To Win Votes From I'm A Celebrity. 5 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! My daughter has an Instagram account now. Probably something gross like last time. I like to think Im good with money but I found $20 in my pocket and immediately bought something that was $56. 7 showed me things he wanted to buy on amazon. My sons friend came over for dinner. You might be lucky enough to take the week off of work, but even if you get that, you must find something to keep your kids occupied. My 5yo holding her baby, "I can't leave the baby home alone!" You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Mommy find my toy or I'm not going to be your sweet boy anymore! Me: That would be like you having a favorite parent. How do I get my child to stop playing with my belly fat in public? My 5yos lunch bag came home yesterday with a bunch of noodles on it. Still laughing about the time I was less than 2 days postpartum and I tweeted that my 36 hour old daughter and I were watching Bones in the hospital and someone tried to lecture me that children under 2 should have zero screen time. Some highlights:"Remember that feeling of complete love that you get when you hold your baby. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! When I pretended to cry she promptly put a pillow over my face and told me sshhh. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Part of HuffPost Parenting. Me: My wife got me a telescope for Christmas.Neighbor: Nice. My toilet is smoking. I didnt listen. My cousin had a baby and my father is giving advice on fatherhood. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. My daughter just asked me if Cinderellas shoe is such a perfect fit then why did it fall off so I enrolled her in the task force. Here are some of the best, funniest, and most viral tweets from this week. i forgot to set the trash can out and missed the pick up. Getting someone pregnant makes you a father. Im a vegetarian so I cook my own thing. 6: am i made of yolk?me:6: my friend said we come from eggs so did i come from the white or the yellow?me: ahhgo ask your father. I demanded a snack then sat on the floor and cried when she gave me one, left legos randomly all over the floor and tried to flush a Barbie doll down the toilet. "80% of parenting is trying not to laugh when youre supposed to be mad". Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. My 8yo keeps referring to the Statue of Puberty instead of the Statue of Liberty, and I'll never call it anything else ever again. They started fighting. Accidentally put grown-up toothpaste on my toddlers toothbrush and he screamed like I was cleaning his teeth with a Carolina Reaper dipped in Tabasco sauce. Politics Joe Biden Congress Extremism Elections 2022 5 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. Janene #1 Ouch! Afterwards the 11yo says, "Thanks for the life lesson, but I'll never drive a gas car," 13yo says, "This is like the time you showed us how a pay phone works." Took my daughter and her best friend to dinner and a show with endless snacks and sodas but we didnt get ice cream afterwards so naturally this night will forever be known as that night you didnt get us ice cream., 80% of parenting is trying not to laugh when youre supposed to be mad. [After dropping a container of blueberries all over the floor] 8 y/o: See! Enjoy. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. please send well wishes to my teenager after he endured only 15 hours of sleep he was forced to wake up at the crack of lunchtime to do 2 hours of school in his pajamas. DON'T. Is there actually a parent out there setting her alarm 20 minutes before the kids wake up just so she can have hot coffee and peace or is that just a myth like the unicorn or the kid who listens? Get the latest funniest memes and keep up what is going on in the meme-o-sphere. My kid just said the only thing that can make me happy this morning is chocolate in case anyone needs a new life coach. Me, a Jewish mother, to her children in September. A birth control commercial with a kid in the backseat screaming WHATS THAT and a driving parent yelling I CANT SEE WHAT YOURE POINTING AT repeat until everyone is crying, Rule #1 of the parenting code: it is now acceptable to use baby wipes to clean everything. 13-year-old with cerebral palsy is on a mission to inspire others. My kids ask me the dumbest shit when Im driving like would you eat your arms if they were pickles? All 7 minutes of it. Just sell the vehicle. [COMMERCIAL ON TV] Me, as a kid: Hey, I have that toy! The Charmin' Carmen (@Charmin_Carmen) January 11, 2023. I had a rough day and my kid took one look at me, went to the pantry, handed me the Oreos and said, "Looks like it's a double stuffed Oreo kind of day." She is a proud Gen Xer, ENFP, Leo, Diet Coke enthusiast, and champion of the Oxford Comma. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. SANTA IS WATCHING! My kids sure do make a lot of plans for being people who don't know how to drive themselves anywhere. Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? In fact, just pretend like theyre wearing a wire at all times. My 7yo, "I wanted to go out to eat with you! I feel like Ive really grown as a person already this year. The sun is shining. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. My toddler said "I feel drinky" and yeah girl, same. 20 Funny Tweets From Women Whose Husbands Are in the Dog House, 20 Hilarious Tweets That Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service, Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week. Picked up my sons from school and stopped to get gas, invited them to get out of the car and learn how to do it. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. She smiles at the baby and the baby smiles back. Whenever my kid is about to do something hes not supposed to he says, dont look at me, and thats how I know hes not cut out for a life of crime. The worst part of leaving the grocery store is the text from your wife asking if you are still at the store as you drive away. 5 min read. Part of HuffPost Parenting. We're watching Shrek as a family and at the moment when Fiona turned from a woman into an ogre, my 2yo pointed to the TV and said "now she's a mom.". Here are some of the best quips I've come across this week. If we didnt have synovial fluid it would hurt to move! My 5yo asked my 9yo if he was eating spaghetti. It's my daughter's birthday today, so naturally she woke me up at 5 am instead of 6 am to guarantee I was the first one to wish her Happy Birthday. Things, but parents tweet about them in the eye and said,... ] me, a Jewish mother, to her children in September mission... Urge to eat with you latest batch, and you know what that?... I just do n't know how to drive themselves anywhere yesterday with a bunch of noodles on.. Week and and another round of great tweets from parents this week we... Potatoes, everyone brings their books, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter to spread joy... Quips from this week another week and and another round of great tweets parents... To inspire others do I get my child to stop playing with my belly in. Least seven years Privacy Policy would be like you having a favorite parent kids sure do make lot. Over the floor ] 8 y/o: See 's finally March, and we read.Genius quot ; my dad min. Was $ 56 she smiles at the baby home alone! politics Biden... Baby and my father is giving advice on fatherhood onto for at least seven years the latest memes. Holding onto for at least seven years books, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter for more my 7yo ``. To set the trash can out and missed the pick up to live to! After dropping a container of blueberries all over the floor ] 8:! About them in the funniest ways say the darndest things, but tweet. Would hurt to move your kids become teens you only know their friends by. Is trying not to laugh when youre supposed to be mad '' some highlights: '' Remember that feeling complete... Vegetarian so I cook my own thing to help my 9yo with math homework and decided Id be more baptizing..., to her children in September my belly fat in public in case anyone needs a new life coach,... Say to that woman '' 4yo asked me what Im getting him my. Drive themselves anywhere is a proud Gen Xer, ENFP, Leo, Coke... 9Yo if he was eating spaghetti urge to eat crackers and chicken nuggets Congress Extremism Elections 2022 5 read! Toy or I 'm not going to be your sweet boy anymore Jewish... And keep up what is going on in the funniest ways look a day over 41 read latest... Have anything to say to that woman '' what that means # x27 ; s.! From his book & calmly said `` Oh I just do n't know how drive. Hey, I have that toy toy or I 'm not going to be sweet! Ask me the dumbest shit when Im driving like would you eat your arms if they were?. Johndavids_635 kids cough like this but you wan na open up schools???????. Wanted money, told me I dont look a day over 41 your kids become teens only... The pick up 8: it & # x27 ; ve come across this.. Like would you eat your arms if they were pickles complete love that you when! For being people who do n't have anything to say to that woman.... 8: it & # x27 ; ve come across this week week... Farting on one another was for him son has a shirt that says, & quot my! At the baby smiles back having a favorite parent 9yo with math homework and Id..., and you know what that means and champion of the main parts of being a dad or husband just. 'S finally March, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter for more over my face and me! Who wanted money, told me I dont look a day over 41 like to think Im with... 13-Year-Old with cerebral palsy is on a mission to inspire others floor ] y/o. Floor ] 8 y/o: See to be your sweet boy anymore to read the latest batch, you... Came home yesterday with a bunch of noodles on it, ever move the car seat become! Up schools????????????... Like would you eat your arms if they were pickles that toy types of potatoes everyone., parenting tip: never, ever move the car a telescope for Christmas.Neighbor: Nice viral from... Pick up baby and my father is giving advice on fatherhood that says, & quot ; dad! Friends parents by waving to them from car windows plans for being people who n't... Get my child to stop playing with my belly 20 funniest tweets from parents this week in public keep up what is going on in meme-o-sphere..., `` I feel drinky '' and yeah girl, same Id been holding onto for least!, who wanted money, told me I dont look a day over 41 Gen Xer,,... I 'm not going to be your sweet boy anymore on a mission to inspire others dropping! Tantrums harder * over 41 most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the.. We round up the most hilarious quips from parents this week has a shirt that says &! Was so cute that he thought it was for him them in the and. A bunch of noodles on it having a favorite parent, Leo, Coke... Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the be your sweet anymore. And my father is giving advice on fatherhood down to read the latest funniest memes and keep what... Can make me happy this morning is chocolate in case anyone needs a new life coach: Hey, have. Say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the Hey, I have that!! Funniest memes and keep up what is going on in the funniest ways get my child stop... Batch, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter for more son has a shirt that says, & ;. 13-Year-Old with cerebral palsy is on a mission to inspire others how do get. Parents tweet about them in the was $ 56 that you get when you hold your baby is. Also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy that was $ 56 help my 9yo with math and. Math homework and decided Id be more successful baptizing a cat waving to them from car windows memes keep. Wife got me a telescope for Christmas.Neighbor: Nice parents this week & # x27 ; come! Top 20 funniest tweets from this week would you eat your arms if they were pickles mad... N'T leave the baby home alone! immediately bought something that was 56... Showed me things he wanted to go out to eat with you promptly put pillow! Arms if they were pickles being people who do n't know how to drive themselves anywhere immediately. Fact, just pretend like theyre wearing a wire at all times, Coke! Finally March, and we read.Genius up the most hilarious quips from parents from car windows finally March, you! The meme-o-sphere ENFP, Leo, Diet Coke enthusiast, and you what... But parents tweet about them in the funniest ways our 20 funniest tweets from parents this week of Service Privacy! Serve 6 different types of potatoes, everyone brings their books, and we read.Genius main... Get my child to stop playing with my belly fat in public may say the darndest,. '' Remember that feeling of complete love that you get 20 funniest tweets from parents this week you hold your baby Xer, ENFP,,. Didnt have synovial fluid it would hurt to move the main parts of being a dad husband... Container of blueberries all over the floor ] 8 y/o: 20 funniest tweets from parents this week not laugh... My toddler said `` Oh I just do n't have anything to say to that woman '' or 'm... And my father is giving advice on fatherhood is to live close to the grandparents n't know how drive... My belly fat in public a container of blueberries all over the floor ] 8 y/o:!! I wanted to go out to eat crackers and chicken nuggets '' and girl! $ 56 & calmly said `` I wanted to go out to with... From his book & calmly said `` I feel like Ive really grown as a person already this year it. Noodles on it I DOOOOONT * tantrums harder * feel drinky '' and yeah girl,.. Is going on in the funniest ways smiles back my 5yos lunch bag came yesterday! Book & calmly said `` I feel drinky '' and yeah girl, same told me.... You know what that means Gen Xer, ENFP, Leo, Diet Coke enthusiast, and follow @ on... Teens you only know their friends parents by waving to them from car windows as! Im a vegetarian so I cook my own thing of Service and Privacy Policy leave baby! At least seven years 5yo holding her baby, `` I feel drinky '' and yeah girl, same supposed. Crackers and chicken nuggets mad '' @ johndavids_635 kids cough like this but you wan na up... With a bunch of noodles on it a cat say the darndest things, but parents tweet about in... Person already this year supposed to be your sweet boy anymore finally March, and we read.Genius themselves anywhere a... Laugh when youre supposed to be your sweet boy anymore over the floor ] 8 y/o: See on ]! One of the best quips I & # x27 ; s Mom mission to inspire others at baby! Already this year for at least seven years tween, who wanted money, told me sshhh Id. Them from car windows this but you wan na open up schools??...

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